Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The Magic of Listening

Yesterday, I blogged about listening to the storm pass by.  Today, I have another listening topic.  It seems like everything I've been reading recently has to do with paying attention.  I'm reading a book called The Anatomy of the Soul by Curt Thompson, in which the author emphasizes the importance of truly listening to other people's stories -- and being listened to in return -- for our mental health. Similarly, The Essence of Christian Meditation by William E. DeWitt focusses on paying attention in every aspect of life.

Have you ever noticed that when you get the same message over and over again, it's like someone is trying to tell you -- maybe teach you -- something?  That's how I feel. 

Anyway, yesterday I went to the doctor for a check up and met with the same nurse that I've been meeting with for years.  She seemed a little tense and withdrawn so I said a few pleasant words.  Then I remembered that Larry (her boss) had been praising her to me the other day and I figured she would be glad to hear that, so I repeated his praise.  The effect was remarkable.  She started opening up and I reminded myself to give her my full attention.  Her husband has recently been diagnosed with throat cancer and she's had a very tough month of waiting on test results.  Larry has been very supportive and helpful and she's grateful for that, and she's even more grateful that the test results showed that the cancer hasn't spread.  Her tension and pre-occupied demeanor were caused by worrying about her husband.  As I continued to listen, she told me about a trip they're planning to Las Vegas to visit her daughter and her daughter's boyfriend/fiancee and how they're going to work around the chemotherapy to get there.  In the end, she ran out to her desk and came back with a stack of photos from her other daughter's wedding and pointed everyone out to me proudly from her three year old grandson, who pooped out during the reception, to her potential in-laws, the parents of the boyfriend/fiancee out west. 

It was a memorable visit.  I think I eased some of her anxiety by listening and I received the gift of sharing in her life a little.  That's the kind of thing that really matters.  And I don't think it would have happened if I hadn't been carefully listening and showing her that she had my full attention. 

BTW, Larry is very pleased with my progress.  All my blood test results are very good (except the cholesterol, which is hereditary).  They show I'm getting correct nutrition, the diabetes is completely under control, my liver is undamaged, my iron is fine, and my blood pressure is also good.  The only medication he's prescribing for me is Nexium,  which is essentially an antacid.  He's been checking me every 3 months, but now he says he'll see me in 6 months.  What a difference a year makes. 

Keep Larry in your prayers.  He called early this morning to ask Jeff to meet him at the emergency room.  He may have a kidney stone and he's in a lot of pain.  It's not life-threatening or anything -- but I hear it's really unpleasant.     

1 comment:

Lilac Haven said...

Neat story in many ways.